As a man with many thoughts and many colors in my head, I feel blessed to have "gotten it" at a young age. My attraction to women has been tempered by numerous experiences that have helped me to gain a clear understanding of what being free to love really looks like and that freedom transcends the gender barrier to both males and females. I don't feel that being attracted to a woman for her physical beauty is necessarily a bad thing. The outward appearance is usually the first thing that garners initial attention on both ends of the gender spectrum. The important factors however, are the qualities you discover about a person that accompany the physical attraction. Speaking from a male perspective, we are bred to believe that it is our job to encourage, uplift, protect, lead and give women the respect and love she deserves. But along with that, I believe it is also a woman’s responsibility to uphold her guard, separate emotion, physical attraction and fantasy from reality until she has a very good idea of whom she is dealing with. This does not mean she should be cold or uninviting, but reserved and careful in her dealings and actions.
As a conscious woman, you should not be concerned or troubled by the men who don't truly want or can't handle a real woman. But it’s also important to know that you are a real woman indeed. That means taking the time to discover who you really are; all the strengths you have within yourself despite being with someone else. Your focus should be on God and having faith that he will provide you with and expose you to the men of substance who are worth your time. It's like chunks of ice in a fire storm. Yes the fire may be more abundant and very hot, but within the barrage of fire is ice that melts slowly and serves as relief and protection from the flames. In the midst of all the fire around you, spend your time and energy focusing on remaining fixed and cool, rather than allowing yourself to be consumed by the fire. In a world filled with men who are ready, willing and able to set you ablaze with all kinds of motives and trickery, there are good and capable men who have accepted and seek their role to be upstanding, conscious, true, righteous and “cool” men. They are in a fire of their own. Focus on being ready and prepared to join forces with those men (as few as you think they may be) instead of fighting, losing faith, time and energy or shying away from men all together. It is far better to seek self-fulfillment in other ways that to readily bind yourself to someone who seeks to destroy himself and you in the process. So finding the key to freeing your heart is not always about leaving yourself open to destruction.
As for you women who are in the “fire” not just by yourselves but with children, regardless of whether you are married to the father of your children or a single, a joint effort is needed from both a mother and a father to instill values, honor and respect in children, not only for themselves, but towards the opposite gender as well. If your child’s father is completely out of the picture, finding strong male role models in your own life is a vital move for your children. Mutual respect is the single most important factor in a male/female relationship because it leads to a direct understanding and the simultaneous value that should be placed upon the opposite sex. Sadly, many single mothers end up pulling the weight all by themselves while some fathers drop the ball. It doesn't take a traditional two-parent household to steer a child in the right direction; however the impact of positive, life-directing influences from both sexes is a major advantage in a child’s life and provides a more solid and complete foundation for a child to pull from.